I remember way back when I was deep into TRA politics, still firmly believing that trans lesbian Marsha P. Johnson personally delivered rights to the lowly hedonistic gays, and I listened to the Making Gay History (a wonderful podcast I recommend to anyone interested in lgbt history) episodes about Marsha and Sylvia and I was So Shocked to hear that they identified as transvestites, homosexual males, they used he pronouns, they weren’t even at Stonewall when the riots started. Like that really opened my eyes to the fact that people on here just parrot information like a game of telephone, where the further it goes the more skewed it becomes. And I was so disappointed in myself for not doing my own research before! So, that was a big ol wake up call to not trust a lot of the well circulated information on here since a lot of it is just… bullshit lmao.
the Drake and Millie situation? why is this being allowed to happen. I know it happens all over the world but here – right in the public eye it’s happening and nobody is thinking anything of it??? Or are turning a blind fucking eye??
Jorja is only just now 21 and Bella Harris is only 18.
What a fuching creep. I recently heard some males saying drake was such a great male bc he didnt say bitch and all i could think is.. Ok just wait… And literally a week later… Here we are…… Doesnt matter how you appear to people…. Every male has a disgusting skeleton in his closet.
The brain doesn’t fucking distinct between “consensual” abuse and actual fucking traumatic abuse! Stop training women to endure pain and defend/tolerate abuse.
Also:
‘I could have called a safeword’
With your head underwater?!?
‘I had my right hand on his leg the entire time if I needed to tap out’
And if you pass out because you’ve been deprived of oxygen too long because you were trying to be “braver”?
As well, re: artemiswasamerf’s comment, Christopher Hitchens voluntarily underwent waterboarding himself, to answer the question of whether it counted as torture. VOLUNTARILY. So much like you, he could have ended it whenever he needed to, and he did. He still suffered trauma from it. Because your brain’s response to drowning is the fucking same whether it’s “consensual” or not.
And, much like choking, there is no such thing as a safe way to deprive your brain of oxygen. You can pass out, you can go into shock, and yes you can die. More easily than you’d think.
Also, why the hell isnt everyone terrified that there are men walking around who get off on “pretending” to murder someone???? Because let’s be real here, if you’re getting hard while drowning a woman, you very much want to inflict lethal harm on her.
^^^^^^^^^
“I could have called a safeword”
Calling a safeword means your Dom failed to read you and the scene got out of his hand. And you never want your Dom to fail.
Calling a safeword means you weren’t as brave as your Dom thought you’d be and it means that he will be disappointed of you. And you really, really want to make your Dom proud by showing how brave you are for him.
Calling a safeword means that you won’t be called a good girl afterwards while your Dom pets your hair and wipes away your tears. And you have just gone through a traumatic event and yearn to be called a good girl. “Good girl” means the same as “I love you” and being a good girl shows that you love your Dom.
And calling a safeword goes against your socialisation as a woman – that you are prone to overreacting and being overly dramatic when things aren’t even that bad.
And it goes against the idea that submission means testing your limits and pushing them further.
All while you’re in a subspace, your thoughts all hazy, and – in this particular scene – your brain lacking oxygen.
Safewords don’t mean shit. I could have always safeworded but instead I chose sexual trauma over calling the scene off and I made that choice over and over again. Because safewords are fucking impossible to use and that’s the reason they are used instead of simple ‘no’.
Everything I did was always consensual and it still traumatized me to the point where even now, over a year later, there are several sexual things that I can’t do without panicking and starting to cry and trash and scream. BDSM is abuse. And men who get boners while drowning their girlfriends should be locked away or – preferably – killed.
I hate seeing this sort of sick shit laughed off as “straight people amirite hahaha” men getting off on physically and sexually abusing women and women being socialised into getting off on their own abuse and subjugation isn’t ~funny het culture~
“Men’s indifference to learning about contraception and to taking any responsibility for it is a theme that emerges from many reports of projects that have attempted, and failed, to reach and educate men. One of the most successful programs of contraception education for men, a Planned Parenthood project in Chicago, abandoned its attempts to reach men over the age of twenty-five when it was found that these men simply would not participate… Instead, the project targeted a younger group, and as part of its research the project conducted a survey of over a thousand men aged fifteen to nineteen:These young men were asked whether they agreed with the statement “It’s okay to tell a girl you love her so that you can have sex with her.” Seven out of ten agreed that it’s okay.They were asked whether they agreed with the statement “A guy should use birth control whenever possible.” Eight out of ten disagreed and said a guy should not.And when asked, “If I got a girl pregnant, I would want her to have an abortion,” nearly nine out of ten said no, they would not want her to have an abortion.These teenage men agreed: Deception to obtain coital access is okay; male irresponsibility in contraception is okay; but abortion is not okay—“because it’s wrong.””
— John Stoltenberg, “The Fetus as Penis: Men’s Self-Interest and Abortion Rights” from Refusing to be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice (via reading-blog)
Justine Troondeau 